Well, right now I'm here writing in my blog when I should be upstairs on the roof with my wife. I guess I feel guilty about it. it's not that this is oh so important, or anything. I mean if I miss another day, I don't think any of you will lose sleep over it.
But at the same time this is my work. I really feel that I have to do it. I made a commitment to myself to try and write and to try and share my photographs. And to play music and create and live art. I hope this little entry goes by quickly so I can spend some time with her. I really want to be there for Evee and let her know how important she is to me and how much she inspires me. But I really want to create really good art. And that takes time. And when i am working and paying bills its an extraodinatry effort to make time to create as well. Actually its not an extraordinary effort, it's really a pleasure. Its a big part of what makes me... me.
Lately I tried to shift over to a schedule where I spend time with Evee while she is awake, and then go back to work after she falls asleep, but she is apparently resenting that to some extent. Feeling like she is a task in my day.
I don't know. I feel like there should be some way to make everything work out and have the time to do everything thats important to you, and everything that you need to do. And still be a happy person, and still make the people around you happy. Thats the next Art that I want to learn.
Trent Reznor is Whining about wanting something he can never have in the background. That guy can make any day seem hopeless.
Alright thats it, Im out of here.
peace
kirk
Axel, at Damekow
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